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Transformers - Age Of Extinction
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Directed By - David Fincher

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Going The Distance Drew Barrymore Justin Long
Going The Distance Drew Barrymore Justin Long
Beastly Vanessa Hudgens Alex Pettyfer

Directed By - Daniel Barnz

BEASTLY

Starring - Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer, Peter Krause & Mary Kate Olsen

Date Vanessa's Heart Closes - March 18th, 2011.

Get ready for the most vomit-inducing trailer since "Alvin And The Chipmunks."

Clear your desk of paperwork and any office supplies that might melt if spattered with digestive juices. Enjoy.

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More Than Meets the Eye
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Love is not only ugly; it's scarred, deformed, eyebrow-less, a tad femme and a major Cure fan.

I'm not saying these two couldn't be together, but it would require a solid plan, a large amount of duct tape and a warehouse rented under a false name.

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Directed By - Nanette Burstein

GOING THE DISTANCE

Starring - Drew Barrymore, Justin Long & Christina Applegate

Falling Short - August 27th, 2010

"A Comedy About Meeting Each Other Halfway" - What a great tagline.

Who can't relate to the give and take needed to make a relationship work?

So... why is he carrying her?

If he's really a Mac, shouldn't everything just work?

Still... in a rocky relationship you'd worry less if you knew your guy couldn't get viruses.

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THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

Starring - Rooney Mara, Daniel Craig, Stellan Skarsgard & Robin Wright.

Date Book Or Subtitles No Longer Need To Be Read - December 21st, 2011.

Although an early design, it's clear the target audience are moviegoers aged 20-30 who shop at American Apparel.

"Evil Shall With Evil Be Expelled" makes no sense... unless they're referring to the entire "remake genre."

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
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I guess this answers the question, "How do you sell a character wary of men, unwilling to be possessed, and wholly resistant to sexual objectification."

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Anna Karenina Box
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Directed By - Joe Wright

ANNA KARENINA

Starring - Kiera Knightley, Jude Law & Aaron Johnston

Steam-Driven Metaphor Arrives - November 9th, 2012

"You Can't Ask Why About Love" - would be an awesome tagline for a movie where Keira Knightley falls for a mildly-retarded, street-vendor named Dennis. Seems a bit out of place for Tolstoy.

A request to locate the home close to public transportation, results in a house built in the center of a commercial railroad track.

A design choice that mirrors the immense aspirations and tragic limitations of Communism.

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Russian Feng Shui is more practical than spiritual. This furniture has been carefully arranged in a style known as "готовый гореть" which loosely translates as "ready for burning."

Crazy On The Outside A
Crazy On The Outside A
Crazy On The Outside A

Directed By - Paul W.S. Anderson

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION

Starring - Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Sienna Guillory & Bingbing Li.

Critical Retribution Begins On - September 14th, 2012.

With millions of dollars at stake, studios exert tight control over every aspect of a film's marketing campaign.

Click to see the adjustments made for the Asian market.

When you show up for combat in a post-apocalyptic environment wearing a red evening dress you're either a narcissistic, insensitive bitch or a danger to yourself and others.

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After 4 movies what the hell are they fighting for anyway. Isn't there enough ash and rubble for everyone?

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Transformers - Age Of Extinction - Poster

Directed By - Michael Bay

TRANSFORMERS - AGE OF EXTINCTION

Starring - Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor & Stanley Tucci.

Extinction Scheduled For - June 27th, 2014

What the hell are they doing back on earth...This is the fourth time.
Did they leave a pair of shoes here?

If you’re trying to kill someone,
don’t show up as a gigantic, spiny, soul-less intergalactic trash hauler.

A few splashes of red and blue paint and you look like one of the good guys.
Wahlberg would be standing on the front porch waving.

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Even sophisticated alien scanning technology can’t tell the difference between
Mark Wahlberg and a vacant, three bedroom country home.

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Created by John Carroll © 2010 to Present

Blindsided Footer - Max The Car With Streetwalker
"GODDAMNIT MAX!
MICE, BIRDS... maybe A SQUIRREL.
ENOUGH WITH THE STREETWALKERS."
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