Something To Smile About - March's Mug Of The Month
 |
|
|
|
Ralph Waite watches with deranged glee as his partner's girlfriend dangles over a 4,000-foot abyss. |
|
|
|
|
All Photos - 1993 Columbia Tristar - All Rights Reserved
Joyner's death will haunt Stallone for the next 113 minutes.
Research for this piece revealed that, in Mountain Rescue circles,
dropping an attractive woman into a gorge is severely frowned upon.
Joyner finally perfects a move that eluded her through years of dance and ballet classes.
Seconds later, she hits solid rock at 120 miles-per-hour.
Waite and Rooker on the other end of the steel cable that's holding Joyner and Stallone.
Up until now, the worst fall Waite has witnessed was Grandpa Walton's
ass-over-teakettle trip into the creek.
Joyner screams as she spots Waite's face and realizes that if Stallone doesn't drop her,
there's a good chance Waite will hit the cable release just to see what happens.
In desperation, Joyner adopts a pinched, hamster-like expression
that makes her appear vulnerable and worth saving.
It makes us all want to give her a good cuddle, but has no impact on the laws of gravity.
Sylvester Stallone promises Michelle Joyner - "You're not gonna die."
In less than a minute, she'll discover he's a lying sack of shit.
